Why Lawyers Generally Suck (Part 1,428 in a recurring series)
0 Comments Published by Ryan on 5/24/2007 at 8:10 PM.
This morning we had a pretty important deposition, which was being held in our main conference room. It's probably the biggest case we have - a vehicular wrongful death - and we represent the family of the guy who got creampied by a tractor-trailer. Today was the deposition of the state trooper who was first on the scene.
As you might imagine, these depositions can get pretty heated. To make matters worse, each one of the defendants' insurance carriers (currently at 5) have denied insurance coverage and filed declaratory relief actions. To make matters completely unbearable, this means that there are now ten separate lawyers involved in our case.
By the way, if you ever really want to drive yourself to the brink of suicide, you know, just to see how much pain and misery you can actually handle, try locking yourself in a room with ten lawyers for 6-8 hours. After the first few hours, I'm ready to fake a seizure to get myself out of there. After 4-5 hours, I'm ready to jump out the fucking window.
Back to my story. I always assumed it was universally accepted that upon arriving at someone else's office - whether it be a doctor, lawyer or janitorial assistant - one is supposed to check-in at the front desk and have a seat in the lobby/waiting room, as opposed to strolling through the office like you fucking own the place.
Today I learned that apparently, not everyone got this memo.
This morning I actually witnessed some pretentious bimbo stroll past our receptionist, past two of our paralegals, and proceed directly into our conference room, which was still in process of being 'set-up' by the court reporter for the upcoming deposition.
I informed this woman that, unless she was assisting the court reporter, she would have to wait in the lobby with the other lawyers. "Do I look like a court reporter?", she responded. Now, I've been a lawyer for almost two years now, but I still haven't gotten use to dealing with these smug, indignant, assclowns. It turns out she was an attorney representing one of the insurance companies, and given her reaction, you would have thought I committed the mysterious eighth deadly sin of "thou shall not confuse pompous windbag attorneys with court reporters"
I mean, what the hell does a court reporter look like anyway? This lady (and I use that term loosely) was wearing a business suit and sitting next to a fucking stenography machine. Are you kidding me? Its little things like this that make me wish I got hit by a bus during law school.
As you might imagine, these depositions can get pretty heated. To make matters worse, each one of the defendants' insurance carriers (currently at 5) have denied insurance coverage and filed declaratory relief actions. To make matters completely unbearable, this means that there are now ten separate lawyers involved in our case.
By the way, if you ever really want to drive yourself to the brink of suicide, you know, just to see how much pain and misery you can actually handle, try locking yourself in a room with ten lawyers for 6-8 hours. After the first few hours, I'm ready to fake a seizure to get myself out of there. After 4-5 hours, I'm ready to jump out the fucking window.
Back to my story. I always assumed it was universally accepted that upon arriving at someone else's office - whether it be a doctor, lawyer or janitorial assistant - one is supposed to check-in at the front desk and have a seat in the lobby/waiting room, as opposed to strolling through the office like you fucking own the place.
Today I learned that apparently, not everyone got this memo.
This morning I actually witnessed some pretentious bimbo stroll past our receptionist, past two of our paralegals, and proceed directly into our conference room, which was still in process of being 'set-up' by the court reporter for the upcoming deposition.
I informed this woman that, unless she was assisting the court reporter, she would have to wait in the lobby with the other lawyers. "Do I look like a court reporter?", she responded. Now, I've been a lawyer for almost two years now, but I still haven't gotten use to dealing with these smug, indignant, assclowns. It turns out she was an attorney representing one of the insurance companies, and given her reaction, you would have thought I committed the mysterious eighth deadly sin of "thou shall not confuse pompous windbag attorneys with court reporters"
I mean, what the hell does a court reporter look like anyway? This lady (and I use that term loosely) was wearing a business suit and sitting next to a fucking stenography machine. Are you kidding me? Its little things like this that make me wish I got hit by a bus during law school.
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